He's Moving, We're Moving

Thomas is moving!!! He recently received his second dose of Zoledronic Acid (a biphosphonate).  Zole slows down bone resorption, allowing the bone-forming cells time to rebuild normal bone and allowing bone remodeling. He received his first dose at the beginning of February and his second dose mid-June. It's been about a month and I can see HUGE improvements in gross motor skills! Thomas is doing things that normal babies typically do by 3 months. It's a big deal for us though considering that until his trach surgery on April 27th, he had spent half of his life in the hospital and the most of that time struggling to breathe.

Our strong little boy is finally kicking his legs when he's happy, when he's mad, and just to play. Thomas is lifting arms enough that his shoulders are off the ground. He's reaching for and holding on to toys with both hands. Head turning is becoming more common when he sees something he likes and he's trying to find it. His grasp is getting stronger and loves to hold our finger to go to sleep.

Some of the funny things about Thomas:

- He loves to play and bat at Taylor's bright pink and purple necklaces.
- He eats like a hungry dinosaur. They even noted that in Thomas's chart as "hungry dinosaur". Baby food is one of Thomas's favorite things in life. I guess if you go months without taking anything by mouth rice mush and pureed prunes taste amazing.
-Baths are awesome! He enjoys them hot and loves getting his hair washed.
- Typically, a trached baby is silent because they don't get to move air across their vocal chords. However, Tommy has figured it out and loves to hear himself talk. He only does it when he's relaxed, but once he gets a squeak out he'll keep going until he's distracted.
- Thomas goes every where in his diaper. All the time. No matter what. He sweats so much which is typical of severe OI. No one knows why but they all share that odd characteristic. Thomas gets so hot even just laying on a pillow that we always have a fan on him even in an air conditioned room. He goes to church in his diaper, out in public, and probably won't be wearing clothes again until fall.
- Taylor and Thomas have inherited a mommy trait. They both twirl their hair. I have a horrible habit of playing with my hair and both of my kids do it when they're falling asleep. We noticed it in Taylor when she was a baby and she still does it. Thomas has long enough hair and he does it when he's relaxing and going to sleep. It's weird seeing your kids do the exact same things that you do and you wonder how the heck did that get passed on? It's like it was prewired in them.
- Thomas loves to be kissed everywhere and loves getting raspberries. He enjoys his feet being stroked and his favorite way to fall asleep is on mom's chest (if I can manage to get him there without the trach getting accidentally pulled out).
- Thomas is the happiest boy you've ever seen at 3am in the morning. He is sunshine and rainbows and will just smile at you until he goes back to sleep.
- Finally, Tommy  gets to have blue poop every once in awhile. It's like he's a unicorn or something. Every so often he has to have his food dyed blue so we can see if he's eating safely and not aspirating. The whole next day is full bright blue surprises.


WE'RE MOVING!!! Well, at least we thought we were...
Living in a three story house has been very difficult when it comes to regular day to day stuff as a mom. First off, Tommy hasn't slept in his bed ever since February. He hasn't even seen another floor of the house since then. He is stationed to a 3 foot radius in the main room off of the kitchen. That's it. His trach is his airway and therefore he has to supervised CONSTANTLY. I can run upstairs quickly to do laundry but if I hear him beep I have to fly down the stairs to make sure he's ok. We haven't had a real scare since May, but that's because we've gotten better at managing everything and preventing issues with the trach. But back in May Tommy was having so much condensation build up in the tube that he was coughing on it all the time, so we thought we'd take him off the humidity and just use the little filter that's meant for when we're on the go. Terrible and life threatening idea... Tommy's lungs got so dry that his mucus was super thick and clogged the trache and we almost lost him. We were able to switch out the trache quickly and he started breathing again with the help of the vent. That moment will forever be burned into my memory but also reminds me how quickly something could go wrong for Thomas and how someone knowledgeable ALWAYS has to be near.

I would love to be able to have a routine with Taylor and Thomas of how we do our days, play, and get things done. But it is so hard with three floors. Plus, even getting Tommy out of the house is hard because of the steps out of the house. So, we made the decision to put our house on the market and look for a spacious rambler with easy entry! We decided to look up in Davis County to be closer to family. After two failed offers, we found a new planned community in Layton that works with a builder we were impressed with and has a layout that's perfect for what we need. We don't get to start construction until our South Jordan home sells. We did go under contract within a few days of going on the market, but their financing failed so we're back on the market. It's scary to not have any idea when things will happen, but I trust that it will work out. In the meanwhile, we're enjoying staying with Meg and Kent (Shane's parents) in Centerville. It's nice to be able to do things with his siblings and be back in our old stomping grounds from when we were dating and first married.

Staying out of our house while on the market was a decision we made to make buyers feel more comfortable in the home without all of Thomas's equipment and to make it less stressful on Thomas. Getting him out of the house is a ton of work. Unless Shane or his parents are available to be with him, I am with him most of the time. If I'm alone with Thomas and miss T, I am not able to just pack the kids up and go to the store or to the park. It is a lot of work to get all the machines set up for on the go and then into the car. I can't take him in the stroller by myself because I can't take him down the steps without a second set of hands. Also, Thomas gets extremely hot and kinked in his carseat. The trache sits below his chin and the connection to the tubing is hard plastic. His head is also really big for a 7 month old and he doesn't have the strength yet to hold it up. But, his head is also too big for the infant padding insert that is meant for newborns. So his head rolls to the side. It's just stressful for all involved but he does love to get out. Thomas enjoys seeing the trees, the colors, the lights in the hallways of a building, and other kids. It'll get easier, but for now we mostly hang out in our 3 foot radius.

The only day this summer that Thomas has worn clothes. For the Broadbent Family pictures.
He looks like a cute young man!

An awesome benefit of living at Grandma's- unlimited access to cousin fun!

Three Months We Didn't Know We Had...

Month One- 

Uncertainty, overjoyed, unbalanced, blessed, strengthened, hope, fear, immeasurable love, inspired.

These are all the emotions that I went through during Thomas's first month of life outside the womb. That little boy amazed everyone. He was born with a broken body with barely a heart beat, but was able to overcome and persevere through so much pain and other health issues. We could only look on and try our best to comfort him when we were at the hospital and to make sure he knew how much we loved him. 

I hated feeling like I wasn't able to be with Thomas as much as I wanted OR with Taylor as much as I wanted. I don't know how parents do it without family or friends to help them. How would a single mother do it? I feel like I barely survived. On top of that I was pumping breast milk every three hours while Shane worked all day long and then went straight to the hospital afterward and didn't come home until Tay was in bed. 

Month Two- 

Excitement, scrambled, tired, self doubt, frustrated, blessed, strengthened, hope, fear, immeasurable love, inspired.

Oh goodness, Thomas was actually discharged to come home! We were able to spend a full week at home before he had his first trip of many to the ER. This became the month of surprises. Every week there was something different we were worried about- feeding, re-flux, aspiration, hernia, breathing, But this was also a great month of learning and growth for all of us. Thomas was doing well with Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy. Thomas was starting to move more and didn't seem in pain from healed fractures. Shane, his parents, and myself were learning more about Thomas and his cues. We were learning more about what was normal for Thomas and what was concerning. We researched more about respiratory and digestive issues with babies that have severe OI. We became more comfortable with the machines and with handling Thomas. I became associated with the OI Parents group and immediately felt them encircle me with their strength and experience.

One particular night, I know Shane and I felt so tired and were having a hard time handling Thomas's schedule and cries throughout the night. Everytime I heard Thomas start to cry that night, I'd say a prayer to Heavenly Father that if it wasn't serious that Thomas would be okay and go back to sleep. Thomas ended up having such a good night that night...

It seemed that there were a lot of questions I still had about the plans for Thomas and why things didn't seem constant for Thomas. Why were we going up to the ER so often? Why can't I get things figured out for my son so we can stay out of the hospital for at least two weeks? What was I doing wrong?

However, my family was together all under one roof. I was able to wake up and cuddle Thomas while Shane and Taylor chased each other around the house.

Month Three- 

Nervous, confidence, tired, frustrated, blessed, strengthened, hope, fear, immeasurable love, inspired. 

I was about to return to school. I had a couple of weeks left. Time to start making freezer meals. Time to look at lesson plans. Do I even remember all of my students' names? How am I going to balance teaching, Taylor, and Thomas? 

Thomas was still having pulmonary and digestive issues, but we were getting sick of staying trapped in the house. We grew confidence in Thomas and in ourselves and ventured to a family party, sacrament meeting, and to the park. I started looking at our situation differently. No matter how much time we have, I don't want to say that we spent all of it on one floor of our house because we were too scared to live life. I needed to figure out how to live life with Thomas's machines and his fragile body. 

Great Grandma B got to hold her first great grandson! This woman inspires me. I was exhausted from being at the ER all night so my grandma came and made me lunch and cleaned the house. She is in her 80s and is still willing to get her hands dirty and serve. I have always been able to count on her and hope she knows that I will be there to clean her house and make her lunch when it's my turn to take care of her. 

Looking ahead at the next couple months and looking back at the last few months, I realized that there was no predictability to Thomas's situation. Not only was his mutation completely unique to him, Thomas's story was unique as well. Thomas has never gone more than a week and a half without an ER visit, a sudden need for a primary care visit, or a hospital admission. So given that pretty busy history, it didn't seem doable or even smart to continue working. It seemed like it would only end up hurting my family. I had been praying as to how I can better help Thomas and without a doubt this was an answer. My family needed all of me.  

Luckily, we were able to find a replacement at the end of my first week back. Thomas made it the entire week and then needed to be taken by ambulance to Primary's. 

Month Four- 

Angry, tired, frustrated, unbalanced, relieved, blessed, strengthened, hope, fear, immeasurable love, inspired. 

Thomas celebrated his one month, two month, and three month birthdays in the hospital. Maybe his four month birthday will be different. 

During this hospital admission I have often found myself angry that Thomas isn't being handled with enough care in regards to his limbs and possibility of fractures, angry that not enough was being done to ensure that a definitive plan was in place to make sure that he didn't end up in the ambulance again, angry that I was not being listened to when speaking about experiences of other babies with severe OI. 

At the same time, I was also sinking myself into conference talks from the last session and praying daily independently and with my children. In the car to and from the hospital I was finding comfort in Primary songs and conversations with Taylor about the Plan of Salvation. 

Tired and trying to figure out how am I going to do this. It's only been a week and half but this is not a quick fix. Thomas needs a lot of help for a long time. What decisions are we going to have to make? Will today's doctor be doom and gloom or optimistic? Will today's doctor be familiar with OI? Blah..... I'm exhausted even thinking about it. But Shane and I know where we stand and know that we do not want to be the ones to tell Thomas when he is done living on this earth. We trust in Heavenly Father and we trust in Thomas. We want to give Thomas EVERY OPPORTUNITY to live his life on this earth and when and if Thomas decides it is more than his precious body can handle, his body will let us know. I will not fail Thomas. 

We were blessed to watch the play based on a book by Nathan Glad (one of our dear friends with OI)- "Climbing With Tigers". This kiddo has been such a motivator for us to fight for Thomas. He is the happiest kid and doesn't let OI get in his way from living life. The play helps others to see what life is like through his eyes. Nathan's play also teaches so much about bravery and friendship. We walked away truly lifted and grateful that Taylor was able to experience that.  GO SEE IT!!! We are so grateful to know his family and look forward to learning how to pay it forward and serve other families. 

http://www.saltlakeactingcompany.org/this-season/item/1003-climbing-with-tigers

Continuing to pray for guidance on how to take care of Thomas, consulting with my army of OI mamas, and relying on friends and family to help us as we scramble day to day... finally a care conference was set. With Thomas's entire team, we were going to finally build a plan for my little guy to not only get him to a barely safe place to go home but to get him to a strong and sturdy place that would be the most promising for Thomas in the long run. We know Thomas needs to get his lungs to mature, the proper nutrition, and the best possible way for us to support his lungs. The days leading up to the conference my prayers had changed. Instead of praying for guidance for myself, I prayed for the doctors and Thomas's team to be guided. 

The day before the conference a new attending was assigned who also happened to have a child with special needs and knew the importance of a support group and the value that other parents were able to share with me. She recognized the weaknesses of his current care plan and immediately wanted it to be more driven and goal oriented. She also reached out to other resources that specialize in OI. Between her, our primary care doctor, and the OI specialists I felt that a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The care conference was a team of 10 who's primary concern was helping Thomas get the care he needed so he can not only come home but have the best chance of staying home for awhile. 

He's needing to have better pulmonary support via High Flow and BiPap (or Cpap... they are going to do some studies with Thomas to decide which). He's now receiving Zole treatments to help his bones and will be starting some respiratory medicine as well. I don't know how our new plan will turn out but I do know that I finally feel peace that Thomas IS in the right hands now and the doctors are going to do the best they can. 

Dreams

Tonight when I was getting ready to put Taylor to bed, she pulled out several books that we have read a million times. Finally, I stepped in to see if there was something on her shelves that we hadn't read in a while. I found a book of hers that I had actually never read with her- "Fanny's Dream". 

I read about this woman who was waiting for her fairy godmother who never came. She never got to marry the prince or live in a castle or live a life free from hard work. But she did marry a man who loved her. They worked side by side. She had her hands full with taking care of the children and the life they had created for themselves. Their house burned down, but they rebuilt it and pushed forward. Later, her fairy godmother finally came and offered her the dreams she had long ago. She chose the life she had built. 

Holding back tears as I finished reading this book to Taylor, I realized that I would not have my life any other way. Yes, of course I wish I could take away Thomas's struggles, the medical bills, the stress, splitting our time between our children, and how tired we are.....

But I LOVE my husband and how hard he works for us and how much he loves being a dad. His patience and his priesthood has been such a blessing during this time. I LOVE what a strong spirited girl my daughter is, how caring she is to her brother, her creativity and her affectionate personality. I LOVE my son's facial expressions, quiet strength, his smiles and coos, his heavenly spirit, and the humility and perspective he has given me. 

What has happened to Thomas is not any mother's dream, but I know that we can build an even more wonderful life for our family because Thomas is a part of it. 

New Year, New Room!

Oh my goodness, this last week has been a crazy week. We loved spending time with Shane's family for New Years. Taylor enjoys playing and being crazy with her older cousins.

We received a call that Thomas was pooping out blood and that they were going to do tests to see what was going on. Everything came back normal AND it didn't happen any other times so they're not worried about it anymore. When they called to tell me this they also called to tell me that Thomas was going to be released in the next week. WHAT?!!!

He's done so well since the week of Christmas on his breathing that he's finally down to no pressure, and only the lowest setting possible of oxygen. Thomas is also gaining weight and maintaining his body temperature fine so he has the green light to go home. Yes, he still has OI and always will but he's stable enough to come home to us.

Thomas will be coming home later this week on oxygen and a feeding tube. Shane and I will be trained on how to manage those, his pain, and his hernias. Thomas can't have any surgeries until he's older so for now it's making sure Thomas heals, gets stronger, and that we prevent any new fractures as best we can.

Later this week we will get an answer to the big question- if Thomas has Type II OI (which is lethal). If he does, Thomas is a really rare case because most babies die within 48 hours with that type. He likely wouldn't live past his 1st birthday. Thomas shows a lot of characteristics of Type II and Type III so we're hoping that he has Type III since that one is survivable.

Our little boy did get moved to a regular hospital room though where he just has one other baby neighbor. We have a lot more room, privacy, a crib, soothing music, toys to look at, and a more calming environment. We are so grateful to the NICU for helping our boy survive this long and for the support they gave us, but we are GLAD we are outta there!

Today was a special Sunday for our family- Taylor started Sunbeams and today was the last Sunday that we had to go visit Thomas as an inpatient. :) So many miracles have taken place in the last few weeks that I can't even count... We know Heavenly Father is aware of our family and watching over Thomas no matter what happens. Thomas is such a strong little boy and I will forever be grateful for this time with him.

Our Journey with Baby Thomas

This last April I was in Disney World for the International DECA competition with my students from Hillcrest High. While I was there, I felt sick and exhausted.

After I returned home from the trip, I tested positive for our 4th pregnancy! This little baby was going to be our rainbow baby after two miscarriages from 2014. We were so excited, but wanted to wait cautiously until we were into the safety net of a second trimester.

At only 5 weeks pregnant we were able to get an ultrasound that showed the start of our little guy and his wonderful heart beating away! That gave me some reassurance and we held our breath that this wonderful baby would stay with us. Every appointment brought the sweet sound of his heart beat. He moved a lot and always changed positions while we were trying to listen. As we got closer to our 19 week appointment, Shane and I had decided on the name Thomas if the baby was a boy. Thomas is a dear family name- Shane's father had a little brother that passed away named Thomas. It was classic and felt right. We took forever trying to come up with a girl name, but landed on Samantha.

The 19 week appointment was a family event. Taylor and Shane were with me as we anxiously watched the ultra sound images to see our baby's cute little body grow and to find out if we had a Thomas or a Samantha. All three of us were ecstatic when we saw that we indeed had a baby Thomas moving and wiggling all around. Something odd was said though during the ultrasound. The tech had asked if we had our baby tested for any genetic problems. We said no.... but thought it was odd she asked. I was bummed though that they didn't get a great picture of his face. We did get one nice side profile though.


It was the next day that a dark cloud came over us when we received the phone call that our little Thomas had Skeletal Dysplasia. We were told that his bones in his limbs and his ribs were not shaped correctly or the right length. At this point, they said it might not be lethal but we would find more information later as we met with a specialist up at the U. We were devastated and started wondering how Thomas's life would be different. We also immediately started researching Skeletal Dysplasia since we hadn't even heard of it until this phone call.

We learned that Skeletal Dysplasia is what causes dwarfism. There are several hundred different types of Skeletal Dysplasia. Some of them are lethal and some of them the babies are able to grow and live relatively normal lives. Specifically, 30% don't make it to birth and 25% don't make it past the first 6 weeks of life. Knowing these statistics broke our hearts. We wanted to be hopeful that Thomas would live and would just have other complications and procedures that we would face with him. One of our main concerns was his mobility and his mental abilities. Babies with skeletal dysplasia also tend to be preemie. We knew Thomas already had a high chance of being preemie since my water broke prematurely with Taylor and she came at 36 weeks.

I was 23 weeks along when we met with our specialist up at the U of U hospital. It was a long couple of weeks waiting to find out more. Shane and I went alone to the appointment and were able to more clearly see his little limbs, a very bent leg, bowed out ribs, and his little chest. His heart was still going strong. After a long and thorough ultrasound session, we met in a private room with our specialist. She explained that Thomas had unusual shaped ribs that prevented her from being able to figure out a diagnosis for his type of Skeletal Dysplasia but the good news was that his measurements were in a safe range that made it so his type was not a lethal one. Hooray!

Questions about his physical abilities and mobility were going to have to go unanswered until after his birth. His mental capacity was not expected to be impacted. His ribs and bent leg were concern areas but could be fixed later on. We were told he might have some of his bones replaced with titanium later on in his life as Thomas grew. We declined genetic testing until after delivery. They said even if we did test at this point there was a good chance we wouldn't know which type he had. After Thomas was born though, through x-rays and further examination we'd have a much higher chance of knowing what type of Skeletal Dysplasia he had.

The benefits of knowing what type is huge. We would know what other complications are common, how tall he was expected to grow, and what kind of longetivity we could expect for his life. We also would be able to know if Thomas inherited the genetic disorder from us or if it was a fluke in his DNA. If he inherited from Shane and I then we would need to test Taylor to see if she was a carrier.

We had a lot of family and friends praying for our little boy. There was so much love and support towards us and Thomas. We knew he would be loved no matter what. I truly felt honored to be his mom. To think what a special boy he is and that I'm the one Heavenly Father is entrusting to be his mother....I already loved him so much. I had felt so grateful for eternal families and that no matter what Thomas would always be our son.

On October 5th we had our follow up appointment at the U. It was just Taylor and I because we thought we were just seeing how Thomas had grown and to maybe have more questions answered since I'd be farther along. Instead the dark cloud that was looming over us turned into the darkest storm I had ever faced. Thomas's measurements were not where they should be for the amount weeks he should have grown. His measurements were now in the lethal zone. They weren't able to get me a good view of his face and the conversation was very quick and to the point. Our little Thomas had a type of Skeletal Dysplasia that was lethal because of how little his limbs and ribs were. His ribs would eventually restrict his lungs which meant that life outside the womb would be fatal for him. There was also the possibility of him being stillborn. Either way, my little boy's life was endangered and I had just received his death sentence. He had too many measurements that were in the lethal range and that were too concerning for life.

I left the hospital bawling with Taylor in my arms. We reached the car and I called to share the heartbreaking update with Shane. That very day and the weeks that followed led to many words of comfort from friends and family members. Many prayers were said for our family and blessings were given. People had asked what they could do to help but I honestly had no answer. We didn't even know what to do ourselves. It had been the strangest feeling to plan for the birth of our child and also need to plan for his death.

At this point our hope was to have ANY amount of time with Thomas. I wanted him to make it to birth even if he was preemie and that we would get to look in his eyes and hold him...If we were able to only get minutes with him we would understand that his body was just too much for him and that it was his time to go.

We actually had a scare one weekend where it didn't seem like I had felt Thomas move for about two days. I also felt like I was having the same contractions that I had in the weeks leading up to my water breaking with Taylor. I was so scared that Thomas had already passed away and that my body was getting ready for labor. We went up to the hospital and luckily he was ok and my contractions weren't progressive so they thought I still had some more weeks ahead of me. 

For my last appointment on November 3rd, Shane was not able to attend because of work. I was scared that I'd receive worse news- that Thomas's measurements were even worse that he was most likely going to be still born. I knew that we had our family fast the Sunday before for us and for baby Thomas. At this particular appointment I had such a strong feeling of peace walking in. No matter what the update was I knew our family was being watched over and that whatever was going to happen we would be able to accept it and feel peace.

The ultrasound images showed the same as before: little ribs, little arms, little legs and a strong heart beat. This time though, my boy wasn't so wiggly. He must have been asleep because he barely moved and it made it easier for the tech to get the images more quickly. Also, she was able to get a wonderful 3D image of his sweet face. Seeing Thomas's full face for the first time just brought me to tears. I wanted to kiss his cheeks, snuggle his face, and tell him that mommy was there for him.

Afterwards, our doctor walked in told me that EVERY SINGLE MEASUREMENT was now BARELY in the safe zone. Just by decimals. None of his measurements were in the lethal range. They were all barely in the threshold of safety. This is not to say that things still can not change and that he is definitely safe... but what this means is that our Thomas does not have an automatic death sentence at this time. Our baby boy might have more time with us. Our baby boy has a chance. I know that the peace I felt walking into that appointment was because I did not need to be scared, because what I was about to witness was a very special miracle. Even if this miracle means that we get to take him home with us for a few days or for a few years, Thomas has a chance.

Our doctor specifically said she's cautiously optimistic. So we too are going to be cautiously optimistic. The Neonatal team that will be on Thomas's case will be contacting us now that we may only be weeks away. They will help walk us through what to expect and decisions that might need to be made. We will be contacted soon by the hospice care at Primary Children's so that Shane and I can prepare our wishes in case Thomas needs to leave us early.

I know that Thomas did not receive a golden ticket saying that he will live and that he will just have some physical limitations from being a little person with some other health complications. I know that he is still not ok and that his life might only be a short while with us in the hospital. However, I can not deny the miracle that took place at that last appointment. The night before the appointment I had started shopping for an appropriate outfit that would fit him for when we would need to bury his sweet little body. Now, I'm wanting to find him appropriate outfits for while he stays in the NICU.  I feel so grateful for this glimmer of hope. So grateful that his definite death sentence has been sat aside. So grateful that there is a greater chance of me looking into his eyes and watching Shane and Taylor hold him versus him being still born. I'm just so grateful for Thomas. So grateful I get to experience this much love. So grateful to be his mother. So grateful for the power of prayer and the comfort that I am able to feel during such a dark & unknown time.

I have no idea what the next couple of weeks will look like or what the delivery will look like or what our first moments with him will look like but I am currently cautiously optimistic.

Tools For Peace

Tools For Peace

One of the goals that I started working on at the end of last year was going through and reading all of the conference talks from the last General Conference. I remember while I watched them last October feeling that many of them seemed to fit so perfectly to what was going on in my life at the time. Many of them seemed to be answering questions or prayers that I had.

I'm not one for waking up extra early to get my reading done, but this girl definitely appreciates a good, HOT bath! Starting in December, whenever I took a bath to relax I would pull out the Ensign and read a talk from October's General Conference. Well, I'm almost done and have loved this goal! Today I read "Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority".

As I was reading it I felt a confirmation that this goal was not only a right choice for me but that this talk was testifying to me why I have made some of the New Years goals I have.

Elder Scott states: "Our Father in Heaven has given us tools to help us come unto Christ and exercise faith in His Atonement. When these tools become fundamental habits, they provide the easiest way to find peace in the challenges of mortality."

1. Prayer is the first tool of peace. It is a powerful blessing and protection to have daily personal prayer and daily family prayer. He reminds us that prayer can shine an eternal light on our daily struggles and that it can provide an amor for our children. The statement about prayer that stood out the most for me was when he said "Family prayer should be a non negotiable priority in your daily life." He used the term non negotiable. That gives me a sense of urgency and makes me realize it's great importance as one of my 2015 goals. 

2. Scripture study. Currently I've been reading the modern day scripture- the words of present day Prophets and apostles. Last summer, Taylor and I would have daily scripture reading in the morning and I loved it! She gets excited when we she sees our scriptures! Since being back at school, that habit has been lost. I love how Elder Scott explains the way Heavenly Father communicates with us. "He most often communicates back to us through His written word. To know what the voice of the Divine sounds and feels like, read His words, study the scriptures, and ponder them.⁵ Make them an integral part of everyday life. If you want your children to recognize, understand, and act on the promptings of the Spirit, you must study the scriptures with them."

I know that through scripture study I HAVE had my prayers answered or the concerns of my heart have been brought to peace. Elder Scott then goes on to say "...as you dedicate time every day, personally and with your family, to the study of God’s word, peace will prevail in your life. That peace won’t come from the outside world. It will come from within your home, from within your family, from within your own heart. " I want our home to be a refuge. A place where Shane, Taylor, myself, and anyone who steps foot in our door- can feel love and Heavenly Father's spirit. I want the activities in my home to be such that it is a place where the Spirit is always able to dwell. I know that family scripture study is one of those activities. 

3. Family Home Evening. Woop woop!!! I didn't grow up having family home evening, but I always wished we did it in my home. I learned about it at church, in seminary, and from my friends. Going to FHE at the U of U student ward was a blast and often times resulted in making new friends with great people! My first spiritual goal for 2015 is to have weekly FHE. A couple months ago I bought a book about FHE planning for dads. I bought it because it had a lot of fun, kid friendly ideas and incorporated games/snacks into the lesson! PERFECT! This month we are 2 for 2 and plan on having a successful month of FHEs. Taylor has loved watching the video clips, listening to us sing the Primary Songs or hymns, and of course loves the treats. So does Shane. 

Family Home Evening Book For Dads

"Family home evening is a precious time to bear testimony in a safe environment; to learn teaching, planning, and organizational skills; to strengthen family bonds; to develop family traditions; to talk to each other; and more important, to have a marvelous time together!"

4. Temple Attendance is the 4th tool for peace. There was a time in my life when I did not hold a temple recommend but even just sitting on the grounds meant the world to me. I would travel on trax from my little apartment up by the U down to Temple Square and just sit in the plaza staring up at the temple. I would write in my journal. Write to my friends out on missions. Read the scriptures. Say a personal prayer. The first time I went to baptisms for the dead after several years of non attendance was one of the most testimony building experiences I have ever had. I felt completely wrapped in Heavenly Father's love and vowed to always being worthy of a temple recommend. I never wanted to take it for granted again... 

Flash forward to working full time with busy schedules and with a busy toddler- I feel excited if we can make it once a month! It's something that I want to change. If I have to pay a babysitter- so be it. If I have to cancel plans for a social outing-- so be it. If I have to wake up early on a Saturday- so be it. I need to make monthly temple attendance a priority! 



"We all know there is no more peaceful place on this earth than in the temples of God....Don’t let anyone or anything prevent you from being there."

"I am not suggesting that all of life’s struggles will disappear as you do these things. We came to mortal life precisely to grow from trials and testing. Challenges help us become more like our Father in Heaven, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible to endure those challenges.¹⁰ I testify that as we actively come unto Him, we can endure every temptation, every heartache, every challenge we face..."

This talk opened my eyes to these simple truths I have known for a long time. Relating back to my goals for 2015, I know that working on these goals will give me TOOLS FOR PEACE.