Thursday, January 15, 2015

Tools For Peace

Tools For Peace

One of the goals that I started working on at the end of last year was going through and reading all of the conference talks from the last General Conference. I remember while I watched them last October feeling that many of them seemed to fit so perfectly to what was going on in my life at the time. Many of them seemed to be answering questions or prayers that I had.

I'm not one for waking up extra early to get my reading done, but this girl definitely appreciates a good, HOT bath! Starting in December, whenever I took a bath to relax I would pull out the Ensign and read a talk from October's General Conference. Well, I'm almost done and have loved this goal! Today I read "Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority".

As I was reading it I felt a confirmation that this goal was not only a right choice for me but that this talk was testifying to me why I have made some of the New Years goals I have.

Elder Scott states: "Our Father in Heaven has given us tools to help us come unto Christ and exercise faith in His Atonement. When these tools become fundamental habits, they provide the easiest way to find peace in the challenges of mortality."

1. Prayer is the first tool of peace. It is a powerful blessing and protection to have daily personal prayer and daily family prayer. He reminds us that prayer can shine an eternal light on our daily struggles and that it can provide an amor for our children. The statement about prayer that stood out the most for me was when he said "Family prayer should be a non negotiable priority in your daily life." He used the term non negotiable. That gives me a sense of urgency and makes me realize it's great importance as one of my 2015 goals. 

2. Scripture study. Currently I've been reading the modern day scripture- the words of present day Prophets and apostles. Last summer, Taylor and I would have daily scripture reading in the morning and I loved it! She gets excited when we she sees our scriptures! Since being back at school, that habit has been lost. I love how Elder Scott explains the way Heavenly Father communicates with us. "He most often communicates back to us through His written word. To know what the voice of the Divine sounds and feels like, read His words, study the scriptures, and ponder them.5 Make them an integral part of everyday life. If you want your children to recognize, understand, and act on the promptings of the Spirit, you must study the scriptures with them."

I know that through scripture study I HAVE had my prayers answered or the concerns of my heart have been brought to peace. Elder Scott then goes on to say "...as you dedicate time every day, personally and with your family, to the study of God’s word, peace will prevail in your life. That peace won’t come from the outside world. It will come from within your home, from within your family, from within your own heart. " I want our home to be a refuge. A place where Shane, Taylor, myself, and anyone who steps foot in our door- can feel love and Heavenly Father's spirit. I want the activities in my home to be such that it is a place where the Spirit is always able to dwell. I know that family scripture study is one of those activities. 

3. Family Home Evening. Woop woop!!! I didn't grow up having family home evening, but I always wished we did it in my home. I learned about it at church, in seminary, and from my friends. Going to FHE at the U of U student ward was a blast and often times resulted in making new friends with great people! My first spiritual goal for 2015 is to have weekly FHE. A couple months ago I bought a book about FHE planning for dads. I bought it because it had a lot of fun, kid friendly ideas and incorporated games/snacks into the lesson! PERFECT! This month we are 2 for 2 and plan on having a successful month of FHEs. Taylor has loved watching the video clips, listening to us sing the Primary Songs or hymns, and of course loves the treats. So does Shane. 

Family Home Evening Book For Dads

"Family home evening is a precious time to bear testimony in a safe environment; to learn teaching, planning, and organizational skills; to strengthen family bonds; to develop family traditions; to talk to each other; and more important, to have a marvelous time together!"

4. Temple Attendance is the 4th tool for peace. There was a time in my life when I did not hold a temple recommend but even just sitting on the grounds meant the world to me. I would travel on trax from my little apartment up by the U down to Temple Square and just sit in the plaza staring up at the temple. I would write in my journal. Write to my friends out on missions. Read the scriptures. Say a personal prayer. The first time I went to baptisms for the dead after several years of non attendance was one of the most testimony building experiences I have ever had. I felt completely wrapped in Heavenly Father's love and vowed to always being worthy of a temple recommend. I never wanted to take it for granted again... 

Flash forward to working full time with busy schedules and with a busy toddler- I feel excited if we can make it once a month! It's something that I want to change. If I have to pay a babysitter- so be it. If I have to cancel plans for a social outing-- so be it. If I have to wake up early on a Saturday- so be it. I need to make monthly temple attendance a priority! 



"We all know there is no more peaceful place on this earth than in the temples of God....Don’t let anyone or anything prevent you from being there."

"I am not suggesting that all of life’s struggles will disappear as you do these things. We came to mortal life precisely to grow from trials and testing. Challenges help us become more like our Father in Heaven, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible to endure those challenges.10 I testify that as we actively come unto Him, we can endure every temptation, every heartache, every challenge we face..."

This talk opened my eyes to these simple truths I have known for a long time. Relating back to my goals for 2015, I know that working on these goals will give me TOOLS FOR PEACE. 


Saturday, January 10, 2015

From Fall to Falling into a New Year

From Fall to Falling into a New Year

A Faith Building Fall

It was the end of September when we found out we were expecting baby #2.... We were so excited and surprised that we joyously laughed at the little blue line! I had been into the school year a little over a month. I was teaching 6 different classes and working extra hours with DECA. My excitement about the pregnancy soon manifested itself in the form of morning sickness and shortness of breath. I was loving it  though because it meant I was getting to add another child to our forever family. 

October ended up being the craziest month I've ever had as a teacher. Between field trips, competitions, trainings, and a much needed vacation to Palmyra to visit Meg & Kent- I was hardly there. 

I loved loved LOVED Palmyra, New York. It was so wonderful to learn about the church's history there and to see the sites. My testimony was strengthened each day while we were there with Shane's parents. We did a session in the Palmyra temple which I will never forget. We walked through the Sacred Grove and stood on top of the Hill Cumorah. We drove to other significant sites and explored some of the history upstate New York has to offer. It was just beautiful with the old houses and the colored trees! I've officially decided that I want to live there- farmland, small towns, and big houses...

A week or so after this beloved trip, I had to leave to go to a training in Miami. I left early Halloween morning. My parents and Shane took Taylor out trick or treating. She was the cutest little Ute cheerleader! We skyped every night while I was gone. 

Upon returning, I had my first pregnancy appointment! Everything looked great and I was making plans for the new baby to arrive on June 7, 2015. We arranged for me to come back later that week for an ultra sound and blood work. Blood work turned out fine except that I was low in sunshine. I wasn't getting enough vitamin D. At the ultrasound, Taylor was by my side and excited to see the new baby with me. Without my midwife there because it was so late in the day, it was up to me to interpret what I was seeing. At first the tech kept changing her angles so she could get a better look. But then after awhile... I realized what was happening. She was trying to confirm that there was no baby. All we could see was the beginnings of a baby that never developed. I went home that night to Shane and cried my eyes out. I cried over not ever being able to meet or hold that baby. I cried over having to wait even longer for another child. 

Miscarriage

My body thought it was 10 weeks pregnant but the midwife later confirmed that the baby didn't make it past 6 weeks. My body wasn't doing anything about it though... it continued being pregnant. We waited a week and still nothing happened. The midwife gave me a prescription that would induce the miscarriage.

 Oh my crazy... I never want to do that again... I miscarried late Wednesday night and realized something was wrong at about 5 in the morning. I was bleeding too much. I was light headed and felt like I was constantly going to the bathroom in my pajamas. But I wasn't- it was just more blood. Shane woke Taylor up and we headed to the ER. They immediately started monitoring me and gave me an IV. They couldn't stop the bleeding and eventually sent me by ambulance up to the U of U Hospital. There, a D&C was completed. Super painful even with medication. It took several days for the pain to go away and then even another week or two to feel like pre-pregnancy self. 

I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and has a plan for that little baby. Whether I get to be with that spirit in this life or the next, that child is mine. I will never forget that we had a little baby on the way due June 7 and how excited Taylor was for a sibling. The miserable miscarriage actually was a distraction to the emotional pain I was feeling so I feel blessed. I resolved to move forward with hope to continue trying (with the permission from my midwife) and to look towards future healthy pregnancies. 

Holidays

We spent Thanksgiving at my parents' house in Bountiful with Grandma & Grandpa B, Aunt Natalie, and my mom & dad. Originally, my best friend Ashley was going to join us, but she ended up being able to take off work to go down and be with her family in Cedar City. It was crazy- there were two turkeys. We didn't even carve into the second one. Taylor was in heaven with pumpkin pie while she sat on old phone books because we forgot her booster seat.

Shane passed his 3rd CPA test! Wahoo!!! He only has one left to go before he's a CPA!!! We're hoping this will provide him with greater career opportunities in the future.

We went as a family to a Christmas tree lot by Shane's old work- Fairchild Semiconductors. We picked it out, carried it home, and decorate the tree and the entire house. It is always so fun even though Taylor has her own way of "decorating".

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is going to the Festival of Trees. This time we went early in the day so there was hardly no crowd and Taylor got to sit on Santa's lap! I love watching the cute little dance concerts up on the stage as well... it makes me excited to get Taylor into a dance class when she's old enough. The Festival of Trees also makes these delicious scones out of Rhodes roll dough. This year we made our own scones at home in our fryer and they were soooo gooooood! New tradition? YES!

The weekend before Christmas we celebrated Taylor turning 2! We had a Frozen Birthday party with the following menu: Costco's croissant sandwiches ("we finish each other's sandwiches"), garden salad ("Troll's Tossed Salad"), marshmallows/raisins/baby carrots/pretzel sticks ("Do you wanna build a snowman?"), and a hot chocolate bar ("I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face!").

It turned out really cute. To save money, I bought winter decor instead exclusively Frozen themed. That way I can use it through January. :) We gave Taylor a tent, tunnel, a new baby doll, and a nice Elsa dress. She also had fun with our family & friends that were able to come. Thanks for the nice gifts everyone!

For Christmas Eve, we spent the day with Krissanne's family making Christmas cookies and eating cookie dough. It was a lot of fun to see Claire and Taylor being crazy and running around together. For our new Christmas Eve tradition, I made italian food for dinner and then we hopped into our new Christmas jammies, packed some hot cocoa, and got into the car. We followed an online map of awesome Christmas lights in Riverton & Draper. So pretty... and a fun way to end the day.

Christmas morning, Taylor actually slept in which was her Christmas present to us. :) We walked down the stairs as a family and opened up our Christmas gifts. Shane- a pressure cooker (to make yummy rice and so I can start canning), Jim Gaffigan, and a RC helicopter. Me- vivofit, new makeup, and new dress. Taylor- games, a doll sized pack n play, and a train set. We skyped with the Broadbents and then played together the rest of the day.

That night we went to my parent's house for Christmas dinner and exchanging gifts. It was a nice Christmas and I am so grateful for my family, the gift of the Savior, and for my Heavenly Father.

Pregnancy

Right before Taylor's birthday I was concerned that my body hadn't gone back to it's regular scheduled programming yet so I took a pregnancy test. Actually, I took 4. They were all positive. I was surprised since we hadn't been proactive about trying to time things, but it had just happened coincidentally. Of Course we were happy, but skeptical. I think it's safe to say that all women are skeptical when they get pregnant again after a miscarriage. They just don't want to be let down. A few days after I tested positive (about 5 weeks along) I miscarried. This was different than November though. If I hadn't taken a pregnancy test, I wouldn't have thought it was anything different than a really late monthly gift. I talked to my midwives and if I miscarry a third time in a row I will need to go in for some tests. We were told though to continue to be hopeful and to start trying the next month. 

Health & Fitness

It's been no secret that I worked really hard the first half of 2014 and was able to lose 30 lbs and a couple dress sizes. I worked out regularly and had completely adjusted our menu plans. I had helped several other people work towards their health and fitness goals and started my own business as a coach for Beach Body. I maintained my progress for the summer and thought I had a game plan for the start of the school year. I was going to continue my progress and continue coaching others as well all while being a mommy and working as a full time teacher. Hmmmm... I completely overwhelmed myself and couldn't figure out how to balance everything. I stopped working out. I stopped coaching. I stopped planning healthy meals. I was in survival mode. I slowly saw the pounds creep up and the clothes getting tighter. I noticed my lack of energy and loss of strength/endurance. UGGGGHHH!!!
After the second miscarriage I told myself- Christmas Break is going to be MY time. I'm going to get this figured out. I'm going to get organized and get myself back on track. I'm going to get back to nutrition, working out, and helping others!

I have a lot that I want to accomplish in 2015 so here are my New Year's Resolutions!

1. Lose 10 lbs in January. 10 more February. 5 more in March. 5 more in April. Maintain for the rest of the year.
2. Consistently have FHE every week in January. Add reading scriptures daily in February. Add daily family prayer in March. Add daily family scripture study in April. Maintain for the rest of the year.
3. Stay under $400 for weekly expenses in January. 350 in February. 300 in March. Maintain the rest of the year.
4. Save $150 month for Disneyland.
5. Attend the temple once a month.
6. Get pregnant!!!