One Year...Many Miracles

Summer Shuntin'

At the end of summer we were able to finally correctly diagnose why Tommy's heart rate would keep jumping up even when he looked totally fine. Thanks to the OI Parents Group that I am a part of on Facebook, I was able to learn of the symptoms for Hydrocephalus. As I inquired further with one of the moms I had an "Aha!!!" moment. I prayed and thought about it overnight and by the next morning I KNEW that this is what he had and I contacted our pediatrician right away. She called me back quickly and trusted my reasoning for the diagnoses. She scheduled us a CT, MRI, and a consult with Neurosurgery at Primary Children's. Dr. Brockmeyer was able to come down and meet with us right after the MRI. Thomas did have hydrocephalus and would need surgery the following Monday. We were scared for another surgery, but were grateful that Thomas has a guaranteed airway because of his trach so there is no need for intubation. We knew that the shunt would likely be a lifetime commitment but that it was a needed surgery.

Thomas had so much fluid in his head that he had gained several pounds over the summer. Initially, our healthcare team had thought he was being overfed. Not only had his grown large, but his veins were protruding and his heart rate would sky rocket likely from headaches and the pressure in his brain.

Falling in Love- Our New Home

The surgery took place at the end of August. Tommy was only the hospital for a few days. The last day his arterial line came out while I was holding him and blood ran all down my clothes and had soaked through. They gave me scrub pants but had nothing to lend me for a top. Sadly, that night was the same night that I needed to go meet Taylor's new teachers for her preschool by our new house. Kids Academy is about halfway between Kent & Margaret's house and my house. So right after I left the hospital Taylor went with me to shop for an emergency outfit (while I was still blood stained) and then we back to my inlaw's to change. We were a little late to the preschool meeting but I made it. Taylor's teacher was very nice and quickly learned how unexpected things can be with our family.

Our new house is a spacious rambler with a master and Thomas room on the main, laundry room,  a large family room upstairs, and 3 bedrooms, another large family room, and storage in the basement. The home will work really well for Thomas when he starts using a wheelchair. For now, it's great because Thomas can finally be moved into his bedroom for nap time and bed time. We are able to wheel his machines around and still have a lot of room to play. I'm able to do laundry, give the kids baths, cook and get things done without leaving the main floor. We joke that we could retire here!

We were so blessed to have neighbors from our old ward help us move. If they had not come there is no way we would have been able to get out of the house on time. Moving into our new house we had family members, friends, and neighbors all come to help. It was wonderful.

The next day there was a terrible wind storm that knocked out our power. We had to go over and spend the night at my in laws since Tommy's machines can only go so long without power. The next morning we returned to the house to try and unpack using only natural light since the power was still out. Later that day I was brought to tears of gratitude for a neighbor across the street who came and shared an extension cord with us to his power generator. It was so touching the support that we already felt from our neighborhood.

Later that night, Shane went out to Costco who luckily still had power and was able to purchase one for us to have on hand for the next emergency. 

 

 

 

October

We started fall with some exciting events and the ball kept rolling into October. Tommy broke his leg from his pulse ox off accidentally getting pulled. We used ortho glass for the first time. We also had our annual Halloween Spooktacular with Shane's best friends from college and their families. 

 

We were able to get Tommy started with his helmet to reshape his head and it was a disaster. He received his helmet right before we went on our trip to Disneyland. We had been planning this trip since before Tommy was born. The trip included two of Shane's siblings and their families, Grandma & Grandpa Broadbent, and our family. We flew with Thomas while Taylor made the road trip with Grandpa and Grandma. Shane had us renting a beautiful house near the park that was perfect for a large group and swimming in a backyard lazy river. The trip was just what we needed. It was a milestone and celebration. It was our first time going to Disneyland together and we loved it.
 Tommy was only able to go on It's A Small World, Tikki Tikki Room, and the Jungle Cruise. It was really hard because of the machines and that Tommy needed to stay in his stroller. We promised ourselves we'd go again when he's graduated from the machines.

The night we flew home we took off Thomas's helmet that he had only had one week and his skin look really irritated. We thought "good thing we have our one week consultation on Monday", cleaned the inside of the helmet and put it back on for the night. Thomas was up screaming and crying all night. It wasn't until the next morning that we found out why. His helmet had rubbed against his skin so bad that it made an opened, infected wound right where his shunt line was.

Thomas ended up getting an emergency shunt externalization surgery and a month long admission with a PIC line of antibiotics. It was horrible. Thomas was healing from surgery and from the infection but he was in the hospital which we hate. We couldn't play with him or position him like we normally would because of the externalized shunt. Every day we would be up there to see him and to spend time with him. It was really hard on Taylor. We were grateful for the friends and family who stepped in to help with meals, visiting him, and to help with Taylor. Luckily, she was able to visit Thomas because it wasn't RSV season yet.

Finally, Thomas was able to get his new shunt on the other side and was able to come home. He handled the surgery like a champ except for the massive bruising across his chest.

Holidays

Thomas came home right before Thanksgiving! Hooray!!! We enjoyed doing all of the holiday things that we tried to do last year at the end of my pregnancy for our bucket list in case he didn't make it. It was a wonderful feeling to do this things with him here! Thomas was able to celebrate his birthday with so many friends and family members.... It was so special. Instead of gifts, we collected items for the NICU families of Primary Children's. Shane and I were so touched by all the baby toys, clothes, gift cards, money, hygiene items, and baby blankets that were donated. We took the kids with Grandma/Grandpa Broadbent to the hopsital to donate the items and it felt so good to help out those families that were going to celebrate Christmas with their babies in the NICU. We were so grateful that we have passed that stage of life but will never forget it.

We made it through the month with one broken arm. But it has taken longer to heal than in times past so we're still extra careful with it. We splinted him pretty good and that helped a lot. 

One of my favorite things was going to Taylor's Christmas dance recital! She's currently taking ballet and tumbling. Taylor celebrated her birthday at a nearby nail salon with two of her cousins Katie and Claire Bear then went to McDonald's for lunch and to play. We're classy like that. Taylor was in heaven! She's seemed like she was 4 for quite a while so her birthday was overdue.

Words cannot begin to describe how grateful I was to be able to celebrate Christmas as a family this year. No hospital. No worry of death. It was peaceful and uneventful. That's all we wanted. We look back on all the miracles that took place to help us reach the end of year together and I am amazed.... God knows me and knows my family. Prayers are answered. The Holy Ghost has guided us. Thomas is a strong boy with a special spirit and a mission to complete. At the beginning of this year, Shane and I assumed Thomas would not be with us for the end of it. Now, we feel that there are so many possibilities for our family. Our goals are big! But our favorite goal is to have a peaceful and uneventful 2017 with minimal breaks, no hospital admissions, and family getting to just enjoy being together. I hope Taylor will learn to read more this year. I hope Thomas will hold his head up on his own and roll to his side on his own. For Shane and I, I hope we can get in more date nights and finish our back yard. :)

Our Journey with Baby Thomas

This last April I was in Disney World for the International DECA competition with my students from Hillcrest High. While I was there, I felt sick and exhausted.

After I returned home from the trip, I tested positive for our 4th pregnancy! This little baby was going to be our rainbow baby after two miscarriages from 2014. We were so excited, but wanted to wait cautiously until we were into the safety net of a second trimester.

At only 5 weeks pregnant we were able to get an ultrasound that showed the start of our little guy and his wonderful heart beating away! That gave me some reassurance and we held our breath that this wonderful baby would stay with us. Every appointment brought the sweet sound of his heart beat. He moved a lot and always changed positions while we were trying to listen. As we got closer to our 19 week appointment, Shane and I had decided on the name Thomas if the baby was a boy. Thomas is a dear family name- Shane's father had a little brother that passed away named Thomas. It was classic and felt right. We took forever trying to come up with a girl name, but landed on Samantha.

The 19 week appointment was a family event. Taylor and Shane were with me as we anxiously watched the ultra sound images to see our baby's cute little body grow and to find out if we had a Thomas or a Samantha. All three of us were ecstatic when we saw that we indeed had a baby Thomas moving and wiggling all around. Something odd was said though during the ultrasound. The tech had asked if we had our baby tested for any genetic problems. We said no.... but thought it was odd she asked. I was bummed though that they didn't get a great picture of his face. We did get one nice side profile though.


It was the next day that a dark cloud came over us when we received the phone call that our little Thomas had Skeletal Dysplasia. We were told that his bones in his limbs and his ribs were not shaped correctly or the right length. At this point, they said it might not be lethal but we would find more information later as we met with a specialist up at the U. We were devastated and started wondering how Thomas's life would be different. We also immediately started researching Skeletal Dysplasia since we hadn't even heard of it until this phone call.

We learned that Skeletal Dysplasia is what causes dwarfism. There are several hundred different types of Skeletal Dysplasia. Some of them are lethal and some of them the babies are able to grow and live relatively normal lives. Specifically, 30% don't make it to birth and 25% don't make it past the first 6 weeks of life. Knowing these statistics broke our hearts. We wanted to be hopeful that Thomas would live and would just have other complications and procedures that we would face with him. One of our main concerns was his mobility and his mental abilities. Babies with skeletal dysplasia also tend to be preemie. We knew Thomas already had a high chance of being preemie since my water broke prematurely with Taylor and she came at 36 weeks.

I was 23 weeks along when we met with our specialist up at the U of U hospital. It was a long couple of weeks waiting to find out more. Shane and I went alone to the appointment and were able to more clearly see his little limbs, a very bent leg, bowed out ribs, and his little chest. His heart was still going strong. After a long and thorough ultrasound session, we met in a private room with our specialist. She explained that Thomas had unusual shaped ribs that prevented her from being able to figure out a diagnosis for his type of Skeletal Dysplasia but the good news was that his measurements were in a safe range that made it so his type was not a lethal one. Hooray!

Questions about his physical abilities and mobility were going to have to go unanswered until after his birth. His mental capacity was not expected to be impacted. His ribs and bent leg were concern areas but could be fixed later on. We were told he might have some of his bones replaced with titanium later on in his life as Thomas grew. We declined genetic testing until after delivery. They said even if we did test at this point there was a good chance we wouldn't know which type he had. After Thomas was born though, through x-rays and further examination we'd have a much higher chance of knowing what type of Skeletal Dysplasia he had.

The benefits of knowing what type is huge. We would know what other complications are common, how tall he was expected to grow, and what kind of longetivity we could expect for his life. We also would be able to know if Thomas inherited the genetic disorder from us or if it was a fluke in his DNA. If he inherited from Shane and I then we would need to test Taylor to see if she was a carrier.

We had a lot of family and friends praying for our little boy. There was so much love and support towards us and Thomas. We knew he would be loved no matter what. I truly felt honored to be his mom. To think what a special boy he is and that I'm the one Heavenly Father is entrusting to be his mother....I already loved him so much. I had felt so grateful for eternal families and that no matter what Thomas would always be our son.

On October 5th we had our follow up appointment at the U. It was just Taylor and I because we thought we were just seeing how Thomas had grown and to maybe have more questions answered since I'd be farther along. Instead the dark cloud that was looming over us turned into the darkest storm I had ever faced. Thomas's measurements were not where they should be for the amount weeks he should have grown. His measurements were now in the lethal zone. They weren't able to get me a good view of his face and the conversation was very quick and to the point. Our little Thomas had a type of Skeletal Dysplasia that was lethal because of how little his limbs and ribs were. His ribs would eventually restrict his lungs which meant that life outside the womb would be fatal for him. There was also the possibility of him being stillborn. Either way, my little boy's life was endangered and I had just received his death sentence. He had too many measurements that were in the lethal range and that were too concerning for life.

I left the hospital bawling with Taylor in my arms. We reached the car and I called to share the heartbreaking update with Shane. That very day and the weeks that followed led to many words of comfort from friends and family members. Many prayers were said for our family and blessings were given. People had asked what they could do to help but I honestly had no answer. We didn't even know what to do ourselves. It had been the strangest feeling to plan for the birth of our child and also need to plan for his death.

At this point our hope was to have ANY amount of time with Thomas. I wanted him to make it to birth even if he was preemie and that we would get to look in his eyes and hold him...If we were able to only get minutes with him we would understand that his body was just too much for him and that it was his time to go.

We actually had a scare one weekend where it didn't seem like I had felt Thomas move for about two days. I also felt like I was having the same contractions that I had in the weeks leading up to my water breaking with Taylor. I was so scared that Thomas had already passed away and that my body was getting ready for labor. We went up to the hospital and luckily he was ok and my contractions weren't progressive so they thought I still had some more weeks ahead of me. 

For my last appointment on November 3rd, Shane was not able to attend because of work. I was scared that I'd receive worse news- that Thomas's measurements were even worse that he was most likely going to be still born. I knew that we had our family fast the Sunday before for us and for baby Thomas. At this particular appointment I had such a strong feeling of peace walking in. No matter what the update was I knew our family was being watched over and that whatever was going to happen we would be able to accept it and feel peace.

The ultrasound images showed the same as before: little ribs, little arms, little legs and a strong heart beat. This time though, my boy wasn't so wiggly. He must have been asleep because he barely moved and it made it easier for the tech to get the images more quickly. Also, she was able to get a wonderful 3D image of his sweet face. Seeing Thomas's full face for the first time just brought me to tears. I wanted to kiss his cheeks, snuggle his face, and tell him that mommy was there for him.

Afterwards, our doctor walked in told me that EVERY SINGLE MEASUREMENT was now BARELY in the safe zone. Just by decimals. None of his measurements were in the lethal range. They were all barely in the threshold of safety. This is not to say that things still can not change and that he is definitely safe... but what this means is that our Thomas does not have an automatic death sentence at this time. Our baby boy might have more time with us. Our baby boy has a chance. I know that the peace I felt walking into that appointment was because I did not need to be scared, because what I was about to witness was a very special miracle. Even if this miracle means that we get to take him home with us for a few days or for a few years, Thomas has a chance.

Our doctor specifically said she's cautiously optimistic. So we too are going to be cautiously optimistic. The Neonatal team that will be on Thomas's case will be contacting us now that we may only be weeks away. They will help walk us through what to expect and decisions that might need to be made. We will be contacted soon by the hospice care at Primary Children's so that Shane and I can prepare our wishes in case Thomas needs to leave us early.

I know that Thomas did not receive a golden ticket saying that he will live and that he will just have some physical limitations from being a little person with some other health complications. I know that he is still not ok and that his life might only be a short while with us in the hospital. However, I can not deny the miracle that took place at that last appointment. The night before the appointment I had started shopping for an appropriate outfit that would fit him for when we would need to bury his sweet little body. Now, I'm wanting to find him appropriate outfits for while he stays in the NICU.  I feel so grateful for this glimmer of hope. So grateful that his definite death sentence has been sat aside. So grateful that there is a greater chance of me looking into his eyes and watching Shane and Taylor hold him versus him being still born. I'm just so grateful for Thomas. So grateful I get to experience this much love. So grateful to be his mother. So grateful for the power of prayer and the comfort that I am able to feel during such a dark & unknown time.

I have no idea what the next couple of weeks will look like or what the delivery will look like or what our first moments with him will look like but I am currently cautiously optimistic.

Tools For Peace

Tools For Peace

One of the goals that I started working on at the end of last year was going through and reading all of the conference talks from the last General Conference. I remember while I watched them last October feeling that many of them seemed to fit so perfectly to what was going on in my life at the time. Many of them seemed to be answering questions or prayers that I had.

I'm not one for waking up extra early to get my reading done, but this girl definitely appreciates a good, HOT bath! Starting in December, whenever I took a bath to relax I would pull out the Ensign and read a talk from October's General Conference. Well, I'm almost done and have loved this goal! Today I read "Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority".

As I was reading it I felt a confirmation that this goal was not only a right choice for me but that this talk was testifying to me why I have made some of the New Years goals I have.

Elder Scott states: "Our Father in Heaven has given us tools to help us come unto Christ and exercise faith in His Atonement. When these tools become fundamental habits, they provide the easiest way to find peace in the challenges of mortality."

1. Prayer is the first tool of peace. It is a powerful blessing and protection to have daily personal prayer and daily family prayer. He reminds us that prayer can shine an eternal light on our daily struggles and that it can provide an amor for our children. The statement about prayer that stood out the most for me was when he said "Family prayer should be a non negotiable priority in your daily life." He used the term non negotiable. That gives me a sense of urgency and makes me realize it's great importance as one of my 2015 goals. 

2. Scripture study. Currently I've been reading the modern day scripture- the words of present day Prophets and apostles. Last summer, Taylor and I would have daily scripture reading in the morning and I loved it! She gets excited when we she sees our scriptures! Since being back at school, that habit has been lost. I love how Elder Scott explains the way Heavenly Father communicates with us. "He most often communicates back to us through His written word. To know what the voice of the Divine sounds and feels like, read His words, study the scriptures, and ponder them.⁵ Make them an integral part of everyday life. If you want your children to recognize, understand, and act on the promptings of the Spirit, you must study the scriptures with them."

I know that through scripture study I HAVE had my prayers answered or the concerns of my heart have been brought to peace. Elder Scott then goes on to say "...as you dedicate time every day, personally and with your family, to the study of God’s word, peace will prevail in your life. That peace won’t come from the outside world. It will come from within your home, from within your family, from within your own heart. " I want our home to be a refuge. A place where Shane, Taylor, myself, and anyone who steps foot in our door- can feel love and Heavenly Father's spirit. I want the activities in my home to be such that it is a place where the Spirit is always able to dwell. I know that family scripture study is one of those activities. 

3. Family Home Evening. Woop woop!!! I didn't grow up having family home evening, but I always wished we did it in my home. I learned about it at church, in seminary, and from my friends. Going to FHE at the U of U student ward was a blast and often times resulted in making new friends with great people! My first spiritual goal for 2015 is to have weekly FHE. A couple months ago I bought a book about FHE planning for dads. I bought it because it had a lot of fun, kid friendly ideas and incorporated games/snacks into the lesson! PERFECT! This month we are 2 for 2 and plan on having a successful month of FHEs. Taylor has loved watching the video clips, listening to us sing the Primary Songs or hymns, and of course loves the treats. So does Shane. 

Family Home Evening Book For Dads

"Family home evening is a precious time to bear testimony in a safe environment; to learn teaching, planning, and organizational skills; to strengthen family bonds; to develop family traditions; to talk to each other; and more important, to have a marvelous time together!"

4. Temple Attendance is the 4th tool for peace. There was a time in my life when I did not hold a temple recommend but even just sitting on the grounds meant the world to me. I would travel on trax from my little apartment up by the U down to Temple Square and just sit in the plaza staring up at the temple. I would write in my journal. Write to my friends out on missions. Read the scriptures. Say a personal prayer. The first time I went to baptisms for the dead after several years of non attendance was one of the most testimony building experiences I have ever had. I felt completely wrapped in Heavenly Father's love and vowed to always being worthy of a temple recommend. I never wanted to take it for granted again... 

Flash forward to working full time with busy schedules and with a busy toddler- I feel excited if we can make it once a month! It's something that I want to change. If I have to pay a babysitter- so be it. If I have to cancel plans for a social outing-- so be it. If I have to wake up early on a Saturday- so be it. I need to make monthly temple attendance a priority! 



"We all know there is no more peaceful place on this earth than in the temples of God....Don’t let anyone or anything prevent you from being there."

"I am not suggesting that all of life’s struggles will disappear as you do these things. We came to mortal life precisely to grow from trials and testing. Challenges help us become more like our Father in Heaven, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible to endure those challenges.¹⁰ I testify that as we actively come unto Him, we can endure every temptation, every heartache, every challenge we face..."

This talk opened my eyes to these simple truths I have known for a long time. Relating back to my goals for 2015, I know that working on these goals will give me TOOLS FOR PEACE. 

Day 30- Positive changes, positive results!

I started this summer with many goals to work on different things in my life- balance, health, family, faith, etc. Starting the second week of September, I can definitely say that I've made positive changes and seen positive results!

My summer started off with becoming a Beach Body coach. Through coaching, I've expanded friendships, continued my goal of working towards health and fitness, helped others get closer to their goals, and worked on myself! One of my favorite things that Beach Body encourages is personal development. Some of my favorite reads have been "The Go Giver", "How to Win Friends & Influence People" and "PUSH". Currently, I'm on day 5 of PUSH and have already implemented what I'm learning and seeing immediate results!!!

The challengers that I've had the opportunity to work with this summer have helped to keep me motivated and focused. All this fitness stuff isn't just something I'm trying out- I'm committed and in love. I'm not perfect but I'm not turning back. It's been awesome to see challengers go down this same path! And seeing them make progress is seriously inspiring.

Taylor and I spent the summer doing "preschool", playing and exploring, reading scriptures, making friends, and making healthier meals. She also practiced "Down Dog", "PiYo Flip", and squats with her mama. Her vocabulary exploded and her favorite three word sentence is- I did it!!! She's become obsessed with Frozen... and asks for me to sing it to her every time we're in the car. The soundtrack is in Shane's car so I'm thinking we might need to get another copy...

Macaroni hats

Arts and Crafts

Shane started a new job and a new calling at church. It's been wonderful to see him home early on Fridays and to see him exercise his priesthood at a greater capacity in our awesome ward. We've loved spending time with Taylor in the evenings and cleaning the house together on weekends. He is such a fun dad and we have each other's back when it comes to discipline.

Shane's plane lasted less than 2 minutes in the air before it crashed...

My testimony has grown from more consistent prayer, scripture reading, and teaching the gospel to Taylor. My life is more organized and focussed on what is really important to me- family, faith, fitness, and friends. I can actually wake up early and work out before work. Reaching out and serving is more fun than sitting at home doing nothing.

For any of the changes that I've made- I know that it all comes back to how I spend my time. When I focus on how I spend my time I see positive results in the areas of my life that are most important. Going back to school shook things up a bit, but with some motivation and guidance I'm getting back on track and KNOW that positive results will continue to happen!!!

Day 25 & Day 26- Temple Service and 10K Training

Day 25- Service in the Temple

I love the temple! As a young girl, I really would dream about what the temple looked like on the inside and what it would be like, what I would I learn, and who I would marry in there some day. As a college student, I would take TRAX down to the SLC temple and would sit on the plaza staring up at the temple, read my scriptures, and write in my journal. As a wife and mother, I love to sit in the temple with my spouse holding hands and love to take Taylor to the temple grounds. The Primary song is still true for me- I love to see the temple!

When we lived in Centerville, there were one or two times when volunteers were needed from our ward to help clean the temple. Because it was during the school year, it would have been difficult to fulfill the service so early in the morning or so late at night. I had a strong desire though to serve the Lord and help clean the Lord's house.

My opportunity came last Sunday! A signup sheet was passed around during church to help clean the temple! I was so excited and signed up! I arrived at the temple in my Sunday best and walked in with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart for the opportunity.

There were over 40 people there with me that had volunteered to spend their late evening helping to clean the temple. With reverence, we were given instructions and sent to complete our tasks. While cleaning, a very warm feeling came over my heart. I realized that some recent prayers of mine had been answered. I had been praying for opportunities to serve others for a week or two. In the temple, it became known to me all the ways I had been able to serve the last couple of weeks. I had received multiple opportunities to serve, had a heart desiring to serve, and took action to serve in the opportunities. I just didn't realize all of those acts were acts of service until I was in the temple. I know that Heavenly Father was teaching me about how my prayers WERE answered.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve and to be served by others. I am grateful for the temple and all of the blessings it has brought to my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve the Lord and the members in my community by helping to keep the temple clean.

Oahu Temple- taken from our visit during our honeymoon

DAY 26- Training for a 10K

I'm so excited! I registered for a 10 K that will take place in 11 days!!!! I can't believe I am going to do it! It's at midnight and will be glow in the dark themed! I haven't ran in a race since before Taylor was born so probably 2011. I know I can currently run 2 miles, but I need to get up to six. With dedication I know I can do it. 

Shane and I (with Shane's best friend Paul in the background) right before I started running Leg 1 of Ragnar Las Vegas

Taken after completing the Salt Lake Half Marathon

In my early twenties, I participated in two Ragnar Races, one Half Marathon, and several 5ks. It's not a matter of if I can run a 10K, but if I'm willing to work and train for a 10k. I want to do this for multiple reasons, but the biggest reason is because I want to show myself that I CAN DO IT! I am in better shape than I've been thinking. I want that feeling of accomplishment again- that I killed a goal that I set for myself. I really love a quote I found the other day about being in your own way. My own fears and doubts are the only thing that can keep me from training for this 10K. Am I going to let them? I am not. I am not going to let fear and doubt stand between me and training for this 10K. There is no reason why I can't run, train, and complete a 10K on the night of the 18th! 

10K Map

I'm going to have my husband and parents there to cheer me on!!!! I don't care if I feel like collapsing afterwards or if I have to talk out loud to myself to keep my motivation up.... I'm going to finish!

Day 14- Prayers are Heard

Prayer answered 1- Shane and I have been a little worried for the past 6 months because the location he works at for his company will be closing down in a year or two. We've prayed about it and have been seeking guidance in what to do. It has been a stressful process for Shane having to go through applications and resumes again. However, our prayers were answered today with an acceptance for a new job with American Express that includes a pay raise and a short commute.

What does this mean? It means that Shane can now focus on studying for his CPA exams and that for baby #2 I'll be able to comfortably switch to part time or be a stay at home mom!

Prayer answered 2- My wonderful best friend has been wanting to go through the temple and I was able to be there with her and two of our other good friends last Saturday. She is such a great friend and example to me. She is like a sister to me! I know how much it meant to her to be there at the temple. The temple is such a blessing in my life and I KNOW she had something to do with getting me there when I went myself. I was meant to live with these girls in college. They provided me with strength and support that I needed to overcome trials and to increase my testimony.

Prayer answered 3- Ever since before I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to set a good example for Taylor and for her to know Heavenly Father and our Savior because she knew me. Tonight during our prayer together, she started scrambling and groaning to get off my laugh. In my prayer I prayed that she would be able to be calm and feel loved. As soon as I said that she sat still and folded back her arms. I love that she knows to fold her arms during a prayer and I'd like to think that she is aware that something special is happening when we pray.

Prayer answered 4- Lately I've been praying to be able to have a good day and the energy to get done what I need to. No, Heavenly Father is not making my day good or giving more time in the day. But, my attitude has changed and I feel the Spirit stronger with me as go throughout all the little things that need to get done. Yeah I have a pile of laundry that needs to be put away. Ok... maybe three piles of laundry. I have dishes in the sink. But I'm sitting with my husband while I write this. He's watching a basketball game. Our daughter is tucked into bed. We visited his Aunt and Uncle tonight after we helped to clean the church. We ate dinner together at the table and talked about Taylor's silliness. It was a good day. :)

Days 6, 7, 8

Day 6- Girls Night!

I did my Turbo Fire workout right when I got home from work. Shane watched Taylor while I went with my best friend to meet up with our old friends that we lived with in college. We went to my favorite place- "Red Iguana" I ordered the same thing that I order every time. I know that it is a lot of calories but it's worth it! That's how I look at food now... some food definitely is not worth it. We had a lot of fun catching up and laughing!

 Day 7-  I love Saturdays!

We started our day right! Playing with Taylor, Shakeology, and working out to Turbo Fire! I made a budget and health friendly grocery list and then headed off to Costco with Taylor. I love Costco! We stocked up on canned fruit for our food storage, items for freezer meals, and lots of fruits and vegetables for the week! That evening, Taylor took a long drive up to Evanston WY to join my brother-in-law and his family for a BBQ. Shane stayed home to study for his CPA. He's working towards taking his first test later this May. It's a lot of work so we've been trying to make time for him to study.

Taylor and I loved seeing her cousins and spending time with their family. When it comes to cheeseburgers, I've learned to have just have one bun. I use the  same bun for one cheeseburger and one hot dog. Salad on the side, yes please! Water to drink, yes please! It was delicious and fun! My sister-in-law and I talked about making freezer jam sometime this summer! We both haven't done it before so I'm excited! In the fall, I want to learn how to make grape juice with my grandma.

Day 8- Sunday is a Special Day!

I've decided that I love working out in the morning and I end up being in a better mood the rest of the day. I'm wondering if I'll be able to wake up early enough to work out in the morning before Taylor wakes up...

I love going to church and feeling the Spirit. I love being able to hear the testimonies of others and to partake of the sacrament. Taylor is starting to run away now at church so that's a new adventure for us.  It's hard too because we have 1pm church and so we're there during the time that Taylor would take her afternoon nap.

I made a delicious dinner for tonight! It's a recipe from "Our Best Bites". I've made their Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas before, but tonight's was definitely my best version of it! Yes, I love mexican food and anything spicy. I know Taylor is my daughter because she ate half of one the spicy enchiladas! She's only one! She kept saying "more! more! more!".

Day 5- I figured it out!!!

I figured it out!!!! Today while I was at work I decided that I'd work out right when I got home. It worked! I worked out while Taylor played in her high chair. Hit 25 is my favorite! Then Taylor and I went to a fundraiser at the Which Wich sandwich shop in Midvale to support Hillcrest DECA. A lot of my students were there! They are so amazing! I'm so lucky to know and them and to get to work with them! I met with the owner and thanked him for working with us. Taylor was practicing saying "por favor" in the car on the way home.

After we ate our delicious sandwiches I took Taylor upstairs for a bath and bed time. She still tasted like pb&j when I kissed her goodnight. I realized though that tonight I wasn't tired. I still had energy to play, clean, or do anything my heart desired ( or that hanging out in my pajamas would allow).

I'm so happy that I figured out a better way to schedule my day though! Work, read scriptures at lunch, work, pick up Taylor, work out while Taylor eats a snack and plays, dinner, play, family prayer, Taylor's bed time, time with Shane and blog. So maybe my sink is full of dishes, but I'm happy and my family is happy!

Today when I prayed with Taylor I can honestly say that I know my prayers are being heard. I know that I feel closer to my Heavenly Father and that I feel humbled when I recognize all that He has done for me. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost and know that when I listen and follow the Holy Ghost, I am able to recognize His voice more easily and more frequently in my day to day life.

Day 2- Making the time

I learned today that I have to make the time for fitness. I have to make the time to read my scriptures. I can't just go throughout my day and hope that this magical window of time will appear where I have NOTHING else that is tempting me to spend my time with. I could always find excuses why now is not the best time to meet these important goals. They have to be more important than a TV show, checking Yahoo News on my lunch break, or surfing Pinterest. 

I wanted to have enough time in the morning before I left to work to read my scriptures and have personal prayer. I was dragging though... with the Monday blues. So I placed my scriptures in bag and told myself I would find the time during the work day. During the precious 30 minutes of my lunch break, I pulled out my scriptures. I didn't want to get my orange hands (I eat Cuties every day for lunch) on my scriptures. So, I hopped onto LDS.org and read where I left off from yesterday. I read chapters 2-6 of Genesis. " Therefore shall a ^aman leave his ^bfather and his mother, and shall ^ccleave unto his ^dwife: and they shall be ^eone flesh."  I love this verse! Having read my scriptures and saying a personal prayer really helped to kick the Monday blues!

My chicken patty and fruit lunch was good, but left me starving when I got home. I'm going to have make some changes there. Also, I want to drink more water tomorrow. I am going to try to go through two refills of my giant water bottle. Maybe that will help. 

Shane and I spent our evening with Taylor going out for ice cream. Seriously, ever since I've been counting calories, I've really come to appreciate GOOD food. The ice cream I had was so not worth it. Which makes it easier to say no thanks for the next time. I had the smallest bowl they had, but for $5 and probably 400 calories... um NOT WORTH IT! I could make a salad that tasted better for cheaper and probably 150 calories!

I put off my workout because I was tired. I need to remember, that I get more energy when I work out! Even on the Turbo Fire workouts, they joke about how people complain that they're too tired to work out, but that working out is what gives you the energy. It is so true! I feel so much better after! So tomorrow I'm going to do 3 things:

1. Drink 2 refills of my giant water bottle at work
2. Work out BEFORE 8pm
3. Go to bed by 10pm.

Also, I received a phone call today about the IUD. Yep- it's completely in the wrong place. They wanted to remove it tomorrow, but it's too hard to get a sub on short notice and more work than it's worth for something that might only take 2 hours. I have an appointment for next week during Spring Break. They're hoping they'll be able to remove it, but it might require surgery because it is damaging my insides. Either way, I'm hoping it will heal by the time Shane and I are ready to grow our little family. 

30 Days of FAITH & FITNESS

Thirty Days... Strengthening my FAITH & my FITNESS

Last night, I went to bed wondering why I always come up with goals and to do lists and always say to myself "I need to wait until X to start". Like when I decided to finally do the work to get healthy, I told myself to wait until the new year. But, even though my Beach Body Challenge didn't start until January 20th, I started working out every day. I just spontaneously started and kept going. I challenged myself to see how far I could go and what kind of results I could get in a set time frame. (With Turbo Fire it's 90 days) I recently bought new pants for work by the way. I'm down from a size 18 to a size 12!!!

So last night, I spontaneously told myself to set a challenge to not only increase my faith but my fitness as well. All the time you read or hear about how writing down your goals, what you eat, etc, helps you to be more accountable. I also know that sharing your testimony strengthens it. Whether it's writing something down or saying it out loud, you become more committed. Invested. It becomes more than a dream or a goal. It becomes an action. 

I WANT to have a stronger spirit in my home. I WANT my husband and I to look at and treat one another with Christlike love. I WANT to have daily personal and family prayer (which I currently don't do). I WANT to continue to pray with my daughter and for her to recognize Jesus Christ. I WANT to follow the commandments and follow the the guidance of the prophets and apostles. I WANT to attend the temple weekly. I WANT to read my scriptures daily. I WANT to read scriptures with my husband and daughter. I WANT those that are around me to know Heavenly Father's love. 

I WANT to end my plateau and get below 190 lbs. I WANT to stick to the Turbo Fire schedule. I WANT to track my calories and exercise. I WANT to make healthier meals for my family that are also budget friendly. I WANT to be able to run 2 miles without stopping. 

My goals and dreams for my faith and fitness are written out and said out loud. I'm committed. I'm invested. I'm taking action. 

This morning, I woke up to my cute toddler and played with her as usual. This time though, I did something different. I pulled out the iPad and showed her the LDS.org video "I am a Child of God". We watched it three times. She loved it! I then, opened up my scriptures and read a chapter with her. I told her we were going to say a prayer together before we started our day. She folded her little arms and cuddled on my lap while I said a prayer. I cannot recall the last time I said a morning prayer... I then proceeded to give her breakfast and I worked out. 

Why have I not been doing this every day? I don't know if I have an answer or if I do and I just don't want to admit the answer. It doesn't matter though. Just like on making the spontaneous change to just start a new habit and commit to working out, I'm making a change. Change will make change. I had a long list of wants written down. If I want those things to change, I have to change what I'm doing. 

For 30 days, I will be writing down my testimony and progress towards these changes. Every day. Thirty days. I have to jump in. No saying that I have to wait for spring break or next month. It's now. It's today. 

I love General Conference. I love hearing messages from my Heavenly Father. I know that when I pray with my daughter that she feels the spirit. I know that my family is sealed forever because of the priesthood we have here on earth and the covenants that we were able to make in God's Holy Temple. I know the scriptures are true. I know that when I read them this morning my testimony was strengthened and my mind was enlightened. I know that the prophet and apostles are called of God and are his messengers here on earth. Their messages today were inspired and their guidance will lead me back to the arms of my Father in Heaven. I know that I am not alone. The Savior knows me and my family. He knows my concerns and my heart. I am so grateful for this testimony.