From Fall to Falling into a New Year

From Fall to Falling into a New Year

A Faith Building Fall

It was the end of September when we found out we were expecting baby #2.... We were so excited and surprised that we joyously laughed at the little blue line! I had been into the school year a little over a month. I was teaching 6 different classes and working extra hours with DECA. My excitement about the pregnancy soon manifested itself in the form of morning sickness and shortness of breath. I was loving it  though because it meant I was getting to add another child to our forever family. 

October ended up being the craziest month I've ever had as a teacher. Between field trips, competitions, trainings, and a much needed vacation to Palmyra to visit Meg & Kent- I was hardly there. 

I loved loved LOVED Palmyra, New York. It was so wonderful to learn about the church's history there and to see the sites. My testimony was strengthened each day while we were there with Shane's parents. We did a session in the Palmyra temple which I will never forget. We walked through the Sacred Grove and stood on top of the Hill Cumorah. We drove to other significant sites and explored some of the history upstate New York has to offer. It was just beautiful with the old houses and the colored trees! I've officially decided that I want to live there- farmland, small towns, and big houses...

A week or so after this beloved trip, I had to leave to go to a training in Miami. I left early Halloween morning. My parents and Shane took Taylor out trick or treating. She was the cutest little Ute cheerleader! We skyped every night while I was gone. 

Upon returning, I had my first pregnancy appointment! Everything looked great and I was making plans for the new baby to arrive on June 7, 2015. We arranged for me to come back later that week for an ultra sound and blood work. Blood work turned out fine except that I was low in sunshine. I wasn't getting enough vitamin D. At the ultrasound, Taylor was by my side and excited to see the new baby with me. Without my midwife there because it was so late in the day, it was up to me to interpret what I was seeing. At first the tech kept changing her angles so she could get a better look. But then after awhile... I realized what was happening. She was trying to confirm that there was no baby. All we could see was the beginnings of a baby that never developed. I went home that night to Shane and cried my eyes out. I cried over not ever being able to meet or hold that baby. I cried over having to wait even longer for another child. 

Miscarriage

My body thought it was 10 weeks pregnant but the midwife later confirmed that the baby didn't make it past 6 weeks. My body wasn't doing anything about it though... it continued being pregnant. We waited a week and still nothing happened. The midwife gave me a prescription that would induce the miscarriage.

 Oh my crazy... I never want to do that again... I miscarried late Wednesday night and realized something was wrong at about 5 in the morning. I was bleeding too much. I was light headed and felt like I was constantly going to the bathroom in my pajamas. But I wasn't- it was just more blood. Shane woke Taylor up and we headed to the ER. They immediately started monitoring me and gave me an IV. They couldn't stop the bleeding and eventually sent me by ambulance up to the U of U Hospital. There, a D&C was completed. Super painful even with medication. It took several days for the pain to go away and then even another week or two to feel like pre-pregnancy self. 

I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and has a plan for that little baby. Whether I get to be with that spirit in this life or the next, that child is mine. I will never forget that we had a little baby on the way due June 7 and how excited Taylor was for a sibling. The miserable miscarriage actually was a distraction to the emotional pain I was feeling so I feel blessed. I resolved to move forward with hope to continue trying (with the permission from my midwife) and to look towards future healthy pregnancies. 

Holidays

We spent Thanksgiving at my parents' house in Bountiful with Grandma & Grandpa B, Aunt Natalie, and my mom & dad. Originally, my best friend Ashley was going to join us, but she ended up being able to take off work to go down and be with her family in Cedar City. It was crazy- there were two turkeys. We didn't even carve into the second one. Taylor was in heaven with pumpkin pie while she sat on old phone books because we forgot her booster seat.

Shane passed his 3rd CPA test! Wahoo!!! He only has one left to go before he's a CPA!!! We're hoping this will provide him with greater career opportunities in the future.

We went as a family to a Christmas tree lot by Shane's old work- Fairchild Semiconductors. We picked it out, carried it home, and decorate the tree and the entire house. It is always so fun even though Taylor has her own way of "decorating".

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is going to the Festival of Trees. This time we went early in the day so there was hardly no crowd and Taylor got to sit on Santa's lap! I love watching the cute little dance concerts up on the stage as well... it makes me excited to get Taylor into a dance class when she's old enough. The Festival of Trees also makes these delicious scones out of Rhodes roll dough. This year we made our own scones at home in our fryer and they were soooo gooooood! New tradition? YES!

The weekend before Christmas we celebrated Taylor turning 2! We had a Frozen Birthday party with the following menu: Costco's croissant sandwiches ("we finish each other's sandwiches"), garden salad ("Troll's Tossed Salad"), marshmallows/raisins/baby carrots/pretzel sticks ("Do you wanna build a snowman?"), and a hot chocolate bar ("I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face!").

It turned out really cute. To save money, I bought winter decor instead exclusively Frozen themed. That way I can use it through January. :) We gave Taylor a tent, tunnel, a new baby doll, and a nice Elsa dress. She also had fun with our family & friends that were able to come. Thanks for the nice gifts everyone!

For Christmas Eve, we spent the day with Krissanne's family making Christmas cookies and eating cookie dough. It was a lot of fun to see Claire and Taylor being crazy and running around together. For our new Christmas Eve tradition, I made italian food for dinner and then we hopped into our new Christmas jammies, packed some hot cocoa, and got into the car. We followed an online map of awesome Christmas lights in Riverton & Draper. So pretty... and a fun way to end the day.

Christmas morning, Taylor actually slept in which was her Christmas present to us. :) We walked down the stairs as a family and opened up our Christmas gifts. Shane- a pressure cooker (to make yummy rice and so I can start canning), Jim Gaffigan, and a RC helicopter. Me- vivofit, new makeup, and new dress. Taylor- games, a doll sized pack n play, and a train set. We skyped with the Broadbents and then played together the rest of the day.

That night we went to my parent's house for Christmas dinner and exchanging gifts. It was a nice Christmas and I am so grateful for my family, the gift of the Savior, and for my Heavenly Father.

Pregnancy

Right before Taylor's birthday I was concerned that my body hadn't gone back to it's regular scheduled programming yet so I took a pregnancy test. Actually, I took 4. They were all positive. I was surprised since we hadn't been proactive about trying to time things, but it had just happened coincidentally. Of Course we were happy, but skeptical. I think it's safe to say that all women are skeptical when they get pregnant again after a miscarriage. They just don't want to be let down. A few days after I tested positive (about 5 weeks along) I miscarried. This was different than November though. If I hadn't taken a pregnancy test, I wouldn't have thought it was anything different than a really late monthly gift. I talked to my midwives and if I miscarry a third time in a row I will need to go in for some tests. We were told though to continue to be hopeful and to start trying the next month. 

Health & Fitness

It's been no secret that I worked really hard the first half of 2014 and was able to lose 30 lbs and a couple dress sizes. I worked out regularly and had completely adjusted our menu plans. I had helped several other people work towards their health and fitness goals and started my own business as a coach for Beach Body. I maintained my progress for the summer and thought I had a game plan for the start of the school year. I was going to continue my progress and continue coaching others as well all while being a mommy and working as a full time teacher. Hmmmm... I completely overwhelmed myself and couldn't figure out how to balance everything. I stopped working out. I stopped coaching. I stopped planning healthy meals. I was in survival mode. I slowly saw the pounds creep up and the clothes getting tighter. I noticed my lack of energy and loss of strength/endurance. UGGGGHHH!!!
After the second miscarriage I told myself- Christmas Break is going to be MY time. I'm going to get this figured out. I'm going to get organized and get myself back on track. I'm going to get back to nutrition, working out, and helping others!

I have a lot that I want to accomplish in 2015 so here are my New Year's Resolutions!

1. Lose 10 lbs in January. 10 more February. 5 more in March. 5 more in April. Maintain for the rest of the year.
2. Consistently have FHE every week in January. Add reading scriptures daily in February. Add daily family prayer in March. Add daily family scripture study in April. Maintain for the rest of the year.
3. Stay under $400 for weekly expenses in January. 350 in February. 300 in March. Maintain the rest of the year.
4. Save $150 month for Disneyland.
5. Attend the temple once a month.
6. Get pregnant!!!

Day 9- sprinng break 2014 woo hoo!

I feel so productive today! We started out our morning with prayer and scripture reading! I worked out to Turbo Fire for 40 minutes and then Taylor and I got ready to go to the park! She loved it so much! She cried when we had to leave. We did laundry together, made an art project with buttons, made some freezer meals, cooked Hawaiian Haystacks, read many books, played, repaired some broken picture frames, and even practiced going to the potty (not me, Taylor)!

It was such a good day. After Shane got home we ate (he said my Hawaiian Haystacks were delicious!) and then headed back to the park! I've  noticed a real difference in our home since we've been regularly reading scriptures and praying individually and together. The Spirit is stronger in our home and we are loving each other with a more Christ Centered love.

Above- Taylor relaxing after a long hard day of fun!

Day 10- We went to a park up north to meet up with some old friends of ours from where we used to live. Those moms are wonderful friends and I've really missed them! It was nice to see how their kids are growing and what they're up to! One of the friends at the park is my Beach Body Coach. She too has plateaued. For me, I think it's because I haven't been advancing in my workouts or in my nutrition. Change makes change. What I'm doing is maintaining. I don't want to maintain though. I want to change and continue to lose. Back to tracking calories tomorrow and working out hard even though it's supposed to be my rest day in the program.

I went back to IMC today about the IUD. Thankfully they were able to take it out... with a lot of yelling on my part. It really hurt! Hopefully my body will heal quickly and will be back to its regular scheduled programming in a month or two. My good neighbor watched Taylor while I had the appointment. When I went to pick her up she was all dressed up. Turns out her own little girl loves to dress up and had quite a fun time dressing up Taylor. I love having a girl because I too loved to dress up when I was younger.

I made cheeseburgers for dinner and should have made a salad with it but I didn't because of time. I should always prep a salad and eat it while I wait for dinner to finish. That used to work really well for me but I became complacent  and didn't think that it was necessary to continue that habit. I was wrong... I love learning lessons along this journey!

Day 2- Making the time

I learned today that I have to make the time for fitness. I have to make the time to read my scriptures. I can't just go throughout my day and hope that this magical window of time will appear where I have NOTHING else that is tempting me to spend my time with. I could always find excuses why now is not the best time to meet these important goals. They have to be more important than a TV show, checking Yahoo News on my lunch break, or surfing Pinterest. 

I wanted to have enough time in the morning before I left to work to read my scriptures and have personal prayer. I was dragging though... with the Monday blues. So I placed my scriptures in bag and told myself I would find the time during the work day. During the precious 30 minutes of my lunch break, I pulled out my scriptures. I didn't want to get my orange hands (I eat Cuties every day for lunch) on my scriptures. So, I hopped onto LDS.org and read where I left off from yesterday. I read chapters 2-6 of Genesis. " Therefore shall a ^aman leave his ^bfather and his mother, and shall ^ccleave unto his ^dwife: and they shall be ^eone flesh."  I love this verse! Having read my scriptures and saying a personal prayer really helped to kick the Monday blues!

My chicken patty and fruit lunch was good, but left me starving when I got home. I'm going to have make some changes there. Also, I want to drink more water tomorrow. I am going to try to go through two refills of my giant water bottle. Maybe that will help. 

Shane and I spent our evening with Taylor going out for ice cream. Seriously, ever since I've been counting calories, I've really come to appreciate GOOD food. The ice cream I had was so not worth it. Which makes it easier to say no thanks for the next time. I had the smallest bowl they had, but for $5 and probably 400 calories... um NOT WORTH IT! I could make a salad that tasted better for cheaper and probably 150 calories!

I put off my workout because I was tired. I need to remember, that I get more energy when I work out! Even on the Turbo Fire workouts, they joke about how people complain that they're too tired to work out, but that working out is what gives you the energy. It is so true! I feel so much better after! So tomorrow I'm going to do 3 things:

1. Drink 2 refills of my giant water bottle at work
2. Work out BEFORE 8pm
3. Go to bed by 10pm.

Also, I received a phone call today about the IUD. Yep- it's completely in the wrong place. They wanted to remove it tomorrow, but it's too hard to get a sub on short notice and more work than it's worth for something that might only take 2 hours. I have an appointment for next week during Spring Break. They're hoping they'll be able to remove it, but it might require surgery because it is damaging my insides. Either way, I'm hoping it will heal by the time Shane and I are ready to grow our little family. 

Feeling Accomplished Today

First, in regards to weight loss I'm now down to 190!!! I've lost 25 lbs since the beginning of January. I love my Beach Body Challenge, Turbo Fire, and Shakeology! I did go through a couple of weeks where I lost my groove. Throwing up and having diarrhea at the same time will definitely take away your desire to jump around and sweat. But I didn't realize how even just 3 days of not working out will throw off my motivation and good habits. 

I'm back on track now and have plateaued at 190. I'm recommitting to track my calories on My Fitness Pal and am back into my regular schedule of Turbo Fire! With change... comes change!

Right after I woke up and played with my daughter this morning, I did my HIT 20 workout from Turbo Fire. It felt wonderful to start my day this way! 

Today was the first of the two day LDS General Conference. I love being able to listen to the prophet and apostles of the church. Last night Shane and I went to the Jordan Temple to better prepare spiritually for Conference weekend. It was our first time going since we've moved to our new house. We don't have any family near by so we had some good friends watch Taylor. I want to go at least monthly. When I am in the temple I feel so close to my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I am reminded of who I am and the woman that I can become. Going to the temple with my husband also sparks feelings that I felt when we were married and promised a forever together. 

During the first session of General Conference, I had to attend an ultrasound appointment. No, I'm not pregnant. Before I had Taylor, I used the Nuva Ring for birth control and loved it. I was like clock work and that was really helpful when we started to try to get pregnant. We're not planning to grow our family until later this fall, but what I'm currently using for birth control has been causing problems since day one. About 6 weeks after I had Taylor, I had my doctor insert the Mirena IUD after I heard a lot of benefits from research and friends. While it was being implanted, I was seeing spots and was lightheaded. It almost hurt worse than giving birth. We continued on with placing the IUD. No follow up appointments were made. Over the last year I've noticed discomfort and bleeding at random times. Knowing this wasn't normal, I asked a midwife about it and she ordered me an ultrasound so we could see what was going on. Sure enough at today's appointment, the ultrasound tech clarified that there was something wrong and that my midwife would be in touch with me at the beginning of the week. I don't know how bad, but I do appreciate the ultrasound tech being up front with me. I'm not scared, but know that it's not time yet for us to have another baby. Once we know I'm safe and it's taken out, we'll go back to the Nuva Ring until we feel ready!

On my way back home, I was able to listen to the last of the morning session that I missed. It was so nice and calming. Once I got home, I was happily surprised to find my husband busy cleaning the house while our daughter was down for a nap. We weren't able to spend that much together though since I had to leave soon after to go meet my mom, sister, and grandma for lunch. I hate a small side salad and half of steak sandwich! Go me! I headed back home in time for the afternoon sessions. 

I LOVED the afternoon session of General Conference. Here are some thoughts that I took away from it:

• Linda Reeves- commitment between spouses, spouse should always come first, support your spouses, don't suffer alone if your spouse is struggling with pornography, daily scripture study & prayer are more important than cleaning, be faithful & obedient in inviting the Spirit into our home, protection through temple attendance
• Neil Andersen- it will not be calm leading up to the Second Coming, challenges strengthen us, Helaman 5:12, Christ is my rock and safety, be in the world- not of the world. 
• Russell M. Nelson- Where is my faith? Faith is always safe in God. Look unto Him in every though. Doubt not. Fear not. Am I tied to God or man? All truth is a part of God. Read scriptures will help us make daily decisions. Liken the scriptures unto us. Popular opinion doesn't justify wrong. Have the courage to not compromise what you know to be right. Proclaim your faith. Let your faith show. 
• Richard G Scott- His wife's convictions and faith made all the difference in their life. Love people so they can know God's love. Focus life on Basic parts of the plan of salvation (conversion & strengthening families). Keep your sharing of the Gospel simple. The atonement makes it possible for us to become more like our Heavenly Father & to be with our families forever. We best serve God by being a righteous influence to others. 
• Robert D Hales- The greatest lesson Jesus taught was obedience. We have a sacred obligation to uphold our covenants and to obey God's laws. Obedience brings blessings. Obedience is taught by example. 
• W. Craig Zwick- Only good communication, no corrupt communication. Love, kindness, and civility. A soft answer. Own the truth. Address loved one's fears. Include empathy first. What is the other person thinking? Understand and listen to someone else's perspective. Administer grace. 

After General Conference today, I planned to do two things through my weekly grocery trip. I was going to SAVE MONEY and work on my EMERGENCY FOOD STORAGE. I made a grocery list like always that included 2 new recipes that I'm going to try this week. I wanted to stay focused on healthy meal choices as well. I ended up buying about $30 worth of food storage! I saved some money by buying my needed items on sale or store brands (usually don't buy store brand). 

Besides, grocery shopping I went to a book store and bought to pictures of Jesus Christ. One picture is to go down in our family room, by our computer. It's a painting of Jesus Christ holding a lamb. The other painting is for Taylor. It will go up in the hall leading to her room. It is a painting of Jesus Christ with a little girl holding an oil lamp. I love it and the feelings that it evokes. I also bought Taylor a little board book. 

After putting away groceries and welcoming my sweet husband home from his evening Priesthood Session, I am so happy today. I feel accomplished. I feel that today was a good day. I worked on goals that I've set for myself. I started the day with playing with my daughter and working out. I ended the day with pondering on the inspired messages from General Conference, chores done, an updated food storage, and an invitation to remember the Savior in our home.